Tonight I held you as you cried. As the tears ran down your face in anxious anticipation of the changes to come, you stated simply, "I want to go home."  And so, my love, all I could do was cry with you. I understand how you are feeling. How many times have I said, "I want to go home", knowing full well that the word "home" holds within it so many meanings. Home is where we rest our heads at night, but it is also where we can go to be as we are. Our safe place where the world can't touch us. Home is the comfort we create for ourselves, extending so far beyond material possessions.
Recently you had to make a huge physical move, leaving one home and creating another. You must know just how hard it was for me to pack up your possessions, and to walk you out of the only home you have known. Oh Bianca, if those walls could talk, the stories they would tell.  Never could I have imagined that so much love could exist within one structure. As I spent the day packing and moving, it was like a movie was playing through my mind. Instead of the big moments, I found myself thinking about all of the seemingly little occurrences...the small things that comprise the fabric of our family. The times I spent rocking you in the middle of the night, the breakfasts your dad cooked for us in the kitchen, the hours we spent coloring on the driveway with sidewalk chalk... It is hard to walk away from that. I don’t have a time machine, we can not go back to what once was. And sometimes I don’t want to go back. I understand you had memories there too, as did I. Both good and bad.  The thing that keeps me going is knowing that we will one day create a new home together, with many great memories to come. Till now, remember you are in good hands with your grandparents. As heart breaking as it is to leave your mommy and start anew, know that they love you as much as you as I do. I know it is painful, and trust me I cry too. Being forced to let go of your children is something no mother ever wishes in her lifetime.  But my darling Bianca rose, where you are, where there is love that can't be shaken, that is now and will always be home.  And your mommy loves you so.  You will always have a home in my heart. And I will always be here with open arms. All my love.

Credits:
Paislee Press:
Then and Now
Fairy Tale

Sahlin Studio:
I'll Love You Forever
Whispers Nature

Two Tiny Turtles:
Just Turn the Page

Heather Joyce:
The Mary Kate