I Had No Idea
Kit Used: Walking on Sunshine by rosetoesdesigns
Font(s): Cataneo BT
Before you arrived, I had no idea what you would mean to me. Your mom and I listened on the phone on our way back to North Carolina...the doctor said a boy was on the way. I had no idea you would be the sunshine of my life. I was there when you were born...an honor I never expected. From then on, I was amazed by your "precious moments" eyes. I was amazed by YOU. To this your mom always (teasingly) told me I was just partial. I tried to convince her that
I wasn't, that you truly were gifted and an astonishing person.
I couldn't sing the song, "You are My Sunshine" that my grandmother sang to me because it made me cry, and I didn't want to worry or scare you. In time, I found the words to sing to you. Early on, I became the person you could trust with your life, with your feelings, with your joys and life's tribulations. I experienced the sheer exhilaration you felt as we explored the world together. It became my mission to be that someone to you that my own two grandmothers were to me. As my own dad once said to me, I saw a need and I stepped up to the plate, but it was not a job or chore, it was a joy that cannot be expressed in words. After you were grown, your mom once said to me, "He wouldn't have survived without you." The gift was two-fold. Every moment spent with you and thinking about you brought joy to my life...and still does. I never let on that I was very sick. Only twice it took me away from you, and your mom told me you were beside yourself. That made me sad beyond words. All of our experiences together gave us both memories to last a lifetime, and a gift that can never be replaced. It meant so much to me to be there for you and this gift was two-fold...you were there for me, as well. You brightened my days, even the darkest ones, you gave me hope for another tomorrow, you gave me the desire to look into the future, and I had to be there for you, there was no way that could be compromised.
Just recently, as you experienced turmoil regarding a romantic relationship, you commented that everyone had their own agenda for you. I told you, "You know better than that", regarding me, and I knew you believed me. Just recently, you dad remarked to me about you, "You're his angel". He said it in the most sincere and sweetest manner, and I knew it was true.
Remember the little things, remember the bigger than life things, remember the feelings, remember having a place where you could just be YOU, the sunshine of my life. Your Mom once told me that Susan picked you up from school just before I was coming to get you to spend some time with me. Susan was amazed and even astonished at how excited and happy you were to be going to Aunt Cindy's (Aun Ninny, Aun Minny, and finally
Aunt Cindy). Then Susan realized and remarked, "That's the one place he can go and just be HIMSELF".
That's what it was all about, and always will be about. I pray with my whole heart and soul that you will always
"Just Be Yourself" and do what is right and best for YOU and find happiness and peace in your life. I hope that you will feel as overjoyed as you felt as a child...about YOURSELF! I love you forever, Danny. Aunt Cindy