kit: You're Not Worth My Tears by Helly
template by Stolen Moments
font: Monika
journaling:
I don't know if it's possible to explain it to anyone who hasn't been through it. The pain, the fear, the disappointment, the relief, the love, the confusion, the trauma. Going from believing with certainty it couldn't happen to you, to knowing that it will, to knowing that it did. Suddenly being faced with questions about the future you never thought you'd have to ask. Having to rely on others to care for your newborn, when you want nothing more than to do it yourself. If only you could. To have everyone tell you the baby is the ONLY important thing, and dismissing you, your thoughts, your pain as irrelevant. Wondering if they're right, and if your experience even deserves to be called negative or traumatic. How can I explain to someone else, when I can't even explain to myself, why it took so long before I could even look at my own scar? How could it ever make sense to others how it makes me happy and sad at the same time every time I see it, every time it itches? I have no regrets, but it doesn't mean I have no concerns.
