Kit and Template: Ponytails Designs A Country Mile and Coming Home T#4
Journaling Top Right: What if I wake up and I am alone?
Journaling:
I won’t lie and say that I am not afraid of spiders, because I really, really am. That’s just not the worst fear I have.
What scares me the most, what makes my heart stop beating, what make me sob with grief though is the fear that I am crazy.
That seems so silly when you say it out loud. It’s not at all. It’s a part of who I am now.
That’s the place where I keep the myriad of fears that I was left with, the legacy of a marriage to a psychopath.
The worst for me is a fear of being crazy.
What if I wake up and I am alone?
What if I wake up and it was all a dream of a crazy person?
What if the past 18 years weren’t real?
What if my loving, kind husband doesn’t exist?
What if my horrible ex had me locked away?
What if Caitlin and Joshua were never born?
What if I am still trapped in that nightmare?
What if I wake up and my happy life isn’t real?
Or what if I wake up, and I am crazy, and trapped?
Please just don’t wake me…
