Kit: This Can't Be Happening by Created by Jill
Font #1: Rage Italic
Font #2: Piranesi It BT (journaling)


Journaling: Since the onset of the PTSD the number of unreasonable, and in some cases debilitating, fears seem to have increased exponentially. I still struggle with a crippling fear of being around people - even my own family. For example, after a 20 minute game of pool in our garage with my son, I returned to my room with my anxiety level so high I was reacting physically with shaking, sweats, stomach and chest pain. It became a "better living through hated medication" night. And here's the thing; as strong as my fear of being around people has become, there is another fear I have developed that, at times, feels like it is consuming me. I fear sleeping. Obviously it is a necessity, but I struggle with it. Every. Single. Day. I sometimes go days sleeping no more than a couple of hours each day before I finally crash and burn. Sounds crazy, huh? Well, I've made a little discovery. No matter where your tormentors are, right now, at this very moment - another city, prison, or dead - they come calling once you close your eyes. And, once sleep has wrapped you in her gauzy cocoon, there is no escaping them. You are forced to relive your waking nightmares again and again. Sleep has become the enemy, opening a portal to my own personal hell where I wait for my husband to burn our home with the children and I sleeping in it. I find myself bent backwards over a stove with the burners turned on high, or I'm held up against a wall with the threat of being raped with a knife...and that's if I'm lucky enough to be an adult in the dream. Hello, my name is Sheri and I have a fear of sleeping.