Journal reads: I'm not afraid to admit that there are a lot of things I am scared of in life. I am afraid of spiders and heights, not a debilitating fear just an uneasy feeling deep in my gut. I am afraid that my house will catch fire and I will lose all my photos and memories. I worry about death and dying too young and I'm also afraid of losing another person close to me that I love. I'm afraid that my kids will get hurt doing something beyond my control and probably a big reason that I am so overprotective of them. I hate when they are at sleepovers or at a friends house or even just walking around the corner out of my sight. They are teenagers and I'm pretty sure the worry has increased over the years and will continue as they venture off on their own, get their licenses to drive, and find themselves at parties with friends. I am afraid of failing them as a Mom too. I don't have my Mom anymore for parenting advice and so many times I question my actions. I have their best intentions at heart but have on multiple occasions earned "Meanest Mom" status with them. I'm just scared of screwing them up, or not being able to help them or teach them well enough, or being a good example to them. I am scared of things that have no rhyme or reason and that are completely out of my control like cancer, sickness and losing my job. I'm afraid of my own health and well-being. I'm scared I will never snap out of my depression over the loss of my parents. I'm afraid I will gain all the weight back that I fought so hard to lose. I'm afraid of never living up to my full potential of a person and letting down the people that love me.


Credits: Connie Prince In Vino Veritas Alphas Marvelous Mint Arteest at Work Best Year Ever


Photo credits: Spider border photo from google images, big spider is taken and extracted by me.