Hear My Voice: Questioning
Hear My Voice: Hurting
Hear My Voice : Healing
All By Rachel Jefferies and Lynn Grieveson
Journal Reads:
October 8th, 2021 is a day I will never forget. It started as a normal day at work. We had a major power outage in our photo studio the day before due to a lighting storm that shorted out one of my main light boxes in my main studio. The tech guys had overnight me a new power box to control the lights and were telling me how to hook it up over the phone as I had never done anything like it ever before in my life. I am not a tech savvy person at all. The tech guy on the phone was telling me how to hook up the new light box which sounded easy enough. Just unscrew these big giant power cord things from the top of the box and hook it up to the new box. Sounds easy enough right? Well the first few went off without any problems, but when I got to the third, I mentioned it smelled burnt. Like fried melted metal. Like really bad burned smell. And it felt wet. I told this to the guy on the phone. He just replied to me "oh it will be okay.".. Well.. long story short... it wasn't okay. As I went to unscrew that power cord .. electricity shot up my left arm. I was zapped by electricity. I was fried. The next few moments are a blur. I remember screaming. I remember basically going into shock. I don't know what made me let go. Normally when you are shocked by electricity you don't let go.. but someone or something was looking after me that day and I let go. Employees from Penney's came running in. My hand went to sleep than. You know like when your foot falls asleep. That tingling sensation? Where it tingles and feels heavy? Well that's how my hand is now permanently. My hand hasn't truly woke up since that day. It was burnt on the inside of the palm and a bruise appeared about a few hours later. I don't know why but I continued to work that day. I did not go to the doctor till a few days later.
Since that day, my life hasn't been the same. I had an EMG in the cities, Minneapolis, since I couldn't get into a local one here in La Crosse for months. The EMG found nerve damage in my arm. I went to months of physical therapy, and while I gained back a little strength. (I finally can wipe my own a**...it's The little things).. I still can't do the basic things I once could. I can't take photos like I use to , I can only shoot one or two shoots a day if even without getting tired. My hand just gives out! And I am left handed to make things worse! I can not write for long periods of time, so there goes personal thank you notes after my wedding. And typing hurts if I type reports or even long letters. Walking my dog with my left hand is near impossible. (thank god Neelix is well trained and doesn't pull and walks alongside me without problems!). And to be blunt.. well... I can't take care of myself in the bedroom.. ... or peel a potato.. or even open a soda can!
And the nerve damage is only the start of my problems. Soon after being shocked , I started getting these head aches. Head aches that feel like a sledge hammer to the back of my skull. Unexplainable pain. And workers comp says this is not caused by the accident. Yet I have never had headaches this bad in my whole life. These headaches have gotten so bad I have passed out four times due to pain. I have been to the ER screaming in pain and given pain killers that don't even touch them. I have even had a mini stroke due to them. And I am seeing a headache specialist who is trying her hardest to prove they are indeed related to being fried by electricity.
I have seen a dry needling specialist to has worked on both my arm and my head. I honestly think she gets sick pleasure out of sticking needles in me! I wish I could see her face under that mask! I am not sure if the needling helps. All I know is that after I feel like jello. And my hand has woke up for 3 minutes after one session. So there is hope. But workers comp has denied my sessions and insurance doesn't pay for them so I am paying out of pocket and they are expensive so I am not sure how many more I can afford.
That brings me to where I am at today. Today I just saw a Disability Specialist. Basically, I have reached the point where there is nothing else the doctors can do for my hand. I was told there is a 98% chance that my hand will never wake up. So a week ago I was evaluated by physical therapy for strength in my hand and today I was rated for disability. In about a week or two I will know how much I will be given for the rest of my life. It is all unfair.
I also learned that I will be loosing my job. After a year and four months of working for the company I learned I no longer can do the functions of my job so they are letting me go. I want to scream because it is their fault I am in the place I am. And I am lost. I will never be the same. I probably will never find a good paying job again, after all who wants to hire someone with only one good hand?
I am in contact with a good worker's comp lawyer and we are debating on where to go from here. And my journey is still on going. Everyday is a new step in my journey. And who knows where it will lead.
