Oh sweetie, big hugs! But also, I'm proud of you for wanting to be healthy, for not just giving up and accepting weight gain. It's tough, especially in our food centered society. I appreciate you sharing like this and applaud the choice of pink not a downer dark scheme. The repeated in HELP in the 3 sizes speaks volumes. Have you tried intermittent fasting or giving up something u eat/drink/ add frequently wo thought, like coffee creamer? Maybe some disguised exercise like nature photography? I'm in your corner, keep trying!!