From Seatrout Scraps:
Big Shots Twice as Nice Templates (Modified)
JOURNALING also in 1st Comment Line
…the chance to have you another child. The journey I am traveling is one with many twist and turns. There have been ups and there have been downs, and I am so lucky to have “our love” to help lead me though these obstacles. My journey down the ‘yellow brick’ road has been fun, exciting, scary, and lonely at times. Children have always been part of my master plan, and after only a few short months of being married my husband and I found out that I was expecting. It was one of those moments in life that you never forget. I ran out of the bathroom at 7 in the morning, tears of joy in my eyes, as I showed my husband the pregnancy test. We were over joyed and began planning for the arrival of our little one. At about 27 weeks along I started to have complications; I began to go into labor, which by the grace of God the doctors were able to stop, but I was put onto strict bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. At 36 ½ weeks along I went into labor again, and through an emergency C-section delivered a beautiful healthy baby girl, “Jean Kelly”. I saw her only briefly before they rushed her out and my husband out of the operating room. I was told before they put me under that they may have to remove my uterus; I was bleeding, and they couldn’t stop it. Hours later I awoke from surgery to find that the doctors were able to stop the bleeding in time. It was days later when my husband final told me that I was minutes away from losing my uterus, and there were times during the surgery they weren’t sure I was going to make it. We cried together, but they were happy tears. I made it and we were going to be able to have more children; however I was told to wait 2-3 years before trying for a 2nd child. God had other plans, and 9 months later I became pregnant again. My husband and I were excited but very scared. Once again at about 27 weeks I was put on bed rest, and at 36 weeks the doctors had me scheduled for my C-section. Prior to the C-section my husband and I talked to the doctor, and we decided that it was not safe for me to become pregnant again. I was upset, but I knew it was the right call. I already felt guilty, thinking something bad was going to happen; I didn’t want to leave my children without a mother or my husband without a wife. We decided that we would have no more children after our son was born, and surgically had it taken care of during the C-section. It wasn’t an easy decision, but if I had to do it all over again I would make the same decision. Knowing in my heart I made the right decision still doesn’t stop me from wondering what might have been, and therefore if I had the chance to ask OZ for something I would tell him… “If I only had the chance to have another child”.